Sketches New and Old, Part 3. Read online

  SCIENCE V.S. LUCK--[Written about 1867.]

  At that time, in Kentucky (said the Hon. Mr. K-----); the law was verystrict against what is termed "games of chance." About a dozen of theboys were detected playing "seven up" or "old sledge" for money, and thegrand jury found a true bill against them. Jim Sturgis was retained todefend them when the case came up, of course. The more he studied overthe matter, and looked into the evidence, the plainer it was that he mustlose a case at last--there was no getting around that painful fact.Those boys had certainly been betting money on a game of chance. Evenpublic sympathy was roused in behalf of Sturgis. People said it was apity to see him mar his successful career with a big prominent case likethis, which must go against him.

  But after several restless nights an inspired idea flashed upon Sturgis,and he sprang out of bed delighted. He thought he saw his way through.The next day he whispered around a little among his clients and a fewfriends, and then when the case came up in court he acknowledged theseven-up and the betting, and, as his sole defense, had the astoundingeffrontery to put in the plea that old sledge was not a game of chance!There was the broadest sort of a smile all over the faces of thatsophisticated audience. The judge smiled with the rest. But Sturgismaintained a countenance whose earnestness was even severe. The oppositecounsel tried to ridicule him out of his position, and did not succeed.The judge jested in a ponderous judicial way about the thing, but did notmove him. The matter was becoming grave. The judge lost a little of hispatience, and said the joke had gone far enough. Jim Sturgis said heknew of no joke in the matter--his clients could not be punished forindulging in what some people chose to consider a game of chance until itwas proven that it was a game of chance. Judge and counsel said thatwould be an easy matter, and forthwith called Deacons Job, Peters, Burke,and Johnson, and Dominies Wirt and Miggles, to testify; and theyunanimously and with strong feeling put down the legal quibble of Sturgisby pronouncing that old sledge was a game of chance.

  "What do you call it now?" said the judge.

  "I call it a game of science!" retorted Sturgis; "and I'll prove it,too!"

  They saw his little game.

  He brought in a cloud of witnesses, and produced an overwhelming mass oftestimony, to show that old sledge was not a game of chance but a game ofscience.

  Instead of being the simplest case in the world, it had somehow turnedout to be an excessively knotty one. The judge scratched his head overit awhile, and said there was no way of coming to a determination,because just as many men could be brought into court who would testify onone side as could be found to testify on the other. But he said he waswilling to do the fair thing by all parties, and would act upon anysuggestion Mr. Sturgis would make for the solution of the difficulty.

  Mr. Sturgis was on his feet in a second.

  "Impanel a jury of six of each, Luck versus Science. Give them candlesand a couple of decks of cards. Send them into the jury-room, and justabide by the result!"

  There was no disputing the fairness of the proposition. The four deaconsand the two dominies were sworn in as the "chance" jurymen, and sixinveterate old seven-up professors were chosen to represent the "science"side of the issue. They retired to the jury-room.

  In about two hours Deacon Peters sent into court to borrow three dollarsfrom a friend. [Sensation.] In about two hours more Dominie Migglessent into court to borrow a "stake" from a friend. [Sensation.] Duringthe next three or four hours the other dominie and the other deacons sentinto court for small loans. And still the packed audience waited, for itwas a prodigious occasion in Bull's Corners, and one in which everyfather of a family was necessarily interested.

  The rest of the story can be told briefly. About daylight the jury camein, and Deacon Job, the foreman, read the following:

  VERDICT:

  We, the jury in the case of the Commonwealth of Kentucky vs. John Wheeler et al., have carefully considered the points of the case, and tested the merits of the several theories advanced, and do hereby unanimously decide that the game commonly known as old sledge or seven-up is eminently a game of science and not of chance. In demonstration whereof it is hereby and herein stated, iterated, reiterated, set forth, and made manifest that, during the entire night, the "chance" men never won a game or turned a jack, although both feats were common and frequent to the opposition; and furthermore, in support of this our verdict, we call attention to the significant fact that the "chance" men are all busted, and the "science" men have got the money. It is the deliberate opinion of this jury, that the "chance" theory concerning seven-up is a pernicious doctrine, and calculated to inflict untold suffering and pecuniary loss upon any community that takes stock in it.

  "That is the way that seven-up came to be set apart and particularized inthe statute-books of Kentucky as being a game not of chance but ofscience, and therefore not punishable under the law," said Mr. K-----."That verdict is of record, and holds good to this day."